Statistics can be scary and misleading when you try to wrap your mind around the 40-50% divorce rate claims nationwide. For example, Greenville, Michigan has the highest divorce rates in Michigan with just over 20% of the population being divorced. If you compare that to the statewide divorce rate of just under 12% of the adult population, it’s clear that statistics can mean little when it comes to the success or failure potential of your relationship. What does matter, however, is how you handle your child custody arrangements when the marriage is over. Fortunately, there are some simple tips to make visitation easier on your kids when two separate homes are involved.
Be Flexible and On Time
Life rarely goes as planned and that’s putting it mildly when you’re trying to arrange child custody between two households. However, kids pay attention and learn by example. So if you say you’re going to do something like pick them up after a soccer game or be at their mom’s house by a certain time, do it. At the same time, if your ex has an extended family emergency, is stuck in a traffic jam, or is suddenly called out of town for work, instill some patience and be flexible enough to change plans or offer alternative solutions.
Avoid Fighting in Front of the Kids
If you had any type of marital problems prior to the divorce, chances are your kids knew it was heading that way before you mentioned the D word. Kids are not dumb but they do tend to internalize a lot, especially when it comes to their parents. The concept of not fighting with your ex may seem impossible, but it is best to avoid it completely in front of the kids. Avoid attacking or talking negatively about the other parent to the kids behind closed doors as well. The stress involved can lead to long-term or irreversible psychological problems. So keep things light with the other parent for the kids’ sake.
Keep or Create a Workable Routine
Kids are creatures of habit, so they will likely be nervous about how things will work with two separate homes. This is the time to calm those worries and prove while some things have changed, the most important things never will. If you made pancakes together on Saturday morning, went to the park after dinner, or watched certain shows before bedtime, keep doing that on their visitation days. Moreover, if you need to create a new routine, let them offer suggestions and help plan it. It may help them accept and adjust to the changes easier.
Let the Kids Have Their Space and Express Their Feelings
Kids need to have their own physical and emotional freedom after a divorce. Sometimes they will want to share how they are feeling directly with you, but other times they may become a locked box and just need time and space to themselves. Create a safe, personal space just for them and allow them to bring comfort items from home or choose a few special new things for their room. Giving them the personal freedom and familiar comforts they need can help them regain emotional control and feel secure enough to make your relationship stronger than ever. Nevertheless, don’t hesitate to contact your Michigan divorce attorney if you need more suggestions or professional assistance on Michigan divorce.
